What to do?

My mom was telling me recently that she doesn’t feel like having Christmas dinner at her house. She told me she was tired of being the one to cook and clean up the mess after everyone leaves. Being the oldest, I had to ask my other family members…Why? Why aren’t you helping mom after dinner?

Each person told me that they have asked to help her, yet she says she will do it. Ok, there is the polite…Oh, I can take care of it. Well, if you say you are going to take care of it, I believe you have no right to complain. When someone ask me…Is there something I can help you do? I give them something to do, or tell them I don’t need help because I am really going to do it myself.

Where is the line? At what point do you stop asking…Is there anything I can help you do? I get that this is a dilemma for many families. At one point you can also just get up and start cleaning things, and just help.

What is the unspoken rule in your family?

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